“We Have A Job To Do”: A Stepdad’s Perspective On The Recent Rise Of The Adopted Father In TV & Film
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“Families can be tough,” says Thor, unexpectedly comforting Gamora after learning she is the daughter of the mad titan Thanos in Avengers: Infinity War. He’s right, of course; families sometimes break, from loss, unexpected change, or any number of unforeseen circumstances. This sometimes leads to a new, unique type of relationship between adult and child, guardian and ward. As a stepdad myself, I write from a place that is very familiar with such perspectives, and I’ve become increasingly aware of their portrayals in TV and film.
Until recently, stepparents have often had a rocky road in the movies; the “evil stepmother” is a well-known fairy tale trope, and stepdads are often malicious or comedic idiots who stole the protagonist’s wife away. In the past decade, however, “adopted father” figures are making a comeback into the positive light.
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Consider Jim Hopper in the second season of Stranger Things, which was released in 2017. After Eleven defeats the first Demogorgon and fights her way back out of the Upside Down, Hopper takes her in, keeping her safe in a secret woodland cabin. But this relationship quickly grows beyond a mere tactical measure; soon they’re having extremely relatable father-daughter spats about boundaries and boyfriends, and by the next season, it’s clear that they’d do anything for each other.
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Fast forward to 2019, and Grogu is revealed in the series premiere of The Mandalorian. Acting completely against bounty hunter code, Din Djarin rescues him from the Empire remnant, and the two quickly become the most famous sci-fi duo in the world. “A foundling is in your care. By creed, until it is of age or reunited with its own kind, you are as its father.” These words struck a chord with me, as someone who made vows to care for my stepchildren as my own. Almost instantly, Mando and Grogu have a “dad and kiddo” relationship, as shown by the adorable exchanges when Grogu messes with the controls in the Razor Crest.
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Another couple years later, the second season of The Witcher sees Geralt of Rivia united with Princess Ciri. Their relationship, rather than luck or happenstance, was determined by fate and destiny from the beginning. Although the lone wolf Geralt is the last personality one would expect to raise a child (and indeed, he resisted as hard as he could at times), he protects her from all threats, external and internal alike. He even trains her in combat and fitness, an undertaking where we begin to see her pre-teen angst clash with his fatherly impatience.
Meanwhile, in the MCU, Thor finds himself caring for a child borne by one of his most deadly enemies. Gorr the God Butcher, after a bloody quest to bring his young daughter back from the dead, is unable to carry on. Thor, who just lost his true love in Jane Foster, vows to care for the powerful child, and falls into love of a different kind. The glimpse into their life together is quite adorable; his hammer is decorated with pink streamers, and he is more than capable of handling the young girl’s superpowered temper tantrums while teaching her right from wrong and the importance of helping others.
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Let’s fast forward once more to the present, when HBO’s The Last Of Us shows us a dad steadily growing to care for a child he did not sign up for. Again, the relationship initially stemmed from necessity and circumstance, but Joel and Ellie are growing closer and closer to family with every episode. It’s very easy to see Joel’s need to protect Ellie conflict with the need to teach her survival skills. It was also very heartwarming to see her mind blown when he already knew the answers to her book of terrible (wonderful) dad jokes.
None of these dads were the biological fathers to these children, and because of that, we are witnessing a new genre of hero step into the spotlight. It’s inspiring to see that from the perspective of a real-life stepdad. Do I need to train my own stepdaughter to combat magical monsters or shoot fungus zombies? No, but if she wants to play soccer, I’ll be right there with a ball and some cleats. Does my stepson help me kill mudhorns and mess with my starship? No, but he helps me through the puzzles of Jedi: Fallen Order and begs me to put his songs on the radio. Do I show off by already knowing the answers to dad jokes they just heard at school for the first time? Well…yes. I guess that one is a pretty easy parallel.
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In the coming weeks, as the third season of The Mandalorian is underway, we’ll be following a tiny hero who turned his back on Jedi training to be with his adopted father instead. The significance of this cannot be overstated. Learning the ways of the Force and becoming a Jedi was all anyone wanted for 40 years, and this series has made us cheer for Grogu’s decision to turn his back on all of that for the sake of his adopted family. My family and I cannot wait to cheer on that duo as they pursue their next adventure together.
This is the way.
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